Yeah, well

Where to start, she wondered
How much history would it take
to make
the present comprehensible?

Surely more 
than sorting through 
sands of excuse for
gold dust reasons.

Surely less 
than the first link of the chain
before which was nothing:
the anchor of all. 

She made no claims to see so far.

Still…
weren’t there moments 
links
events
from the midst of which one could say—
Ah! This is where it all started! 
That was the decision that made this present inevitable!

All she had to do was follow 
the chain, hand over hand, 
backward into the depths. 

If she could hold her breath long enough, 
she would find
whatever there was to be found. 

----------
And then what? Kind of a dumb meandering. Not really sure what I was thinking about. More of a mood, really.

Two trains of thought in collision...can she find the beginning, or not? Does she need to find the very beginning? 

But it does seem important to ask: And then what? There is the search, the journey, the quest. Well, that will keep you busy for a good long while. But what happens after you find what you were looking for, or maybe what you never thought was there to be found? Or find that there was nothing at all to find? There's still the whole rest of your life to live. To live, or maybe just to get through. If you've expended all your energy on this quest, or if you've derived your entire sense of purpose or even identity from being a holy pilgrim after the truth, will you be able to adjust to life as a civilian?

Is it fear of that adjustment that keeps so many pilgrims on the road? Fear of coming home with a suitcase full of dirty clothes to a sink full of dishes, and a cupboard full of sprouted potatoes and rusty cans? 

Man, I am all over the place tonight. All questions and no answers. What do I know? Maybe one or two things. Maybe that even truthseekers need to eat, and that a shower and clean clothes are a comfort in times of intense wondering. Even if you are thinking that you should be above such earthly concerns.

Good night, and happy travels.