Every day is Valentine's Day

I was still working
you fell asleep on the couch
Goodnight I kissed you

Silk screening: Days of research, hesitation, sketches, research all for 15 minutes of actual process

After hours (days, really) of decision paralysis and years of terror, I finally introduced myself to a silk screen today. Since I have almost no graphic arts-style imagination, it took almost half the day to draw a design of my own. I know that there are millions of patterns on the web and many many stencils for sale, but I feel like it just isn't mine if I don't make all the parts myself. (I did not, however, mix my own ink or build my own screen. There are limits.) There was also the gathering of tools and the solving of problems like: what to put under the T-shirt to raise it off the table enough to prevent the clips from bending the cardboard inside the shirt.

Art is a struggle for some of us.

Craft is...just plain work. But you can practice and get better, more skillful. And just maybe you gain enough skill to produce a window into a deeper world that other people can access and see with you.

And that is pure joy.

But art just won't come out right if you ignore the physics of the bendy board when trying to push paint through a rigid-framed flat screen.

Things should go faster next time, since I now have a bucket of materials and tools gathered together.

I cut a stencil out of freezer paper. I have a lot to learn about handling a knife, but I consider this a good start. I spooned in some black fabric ink from a Speedball kit--and let me say this to people who write instruction manuals: instructions like "Make sure you put in enough ink" don't mean anything to someone who buys an introductory kit. If I knew what enough was, I would not have bought a beginner's set.

I didn't put in enough ink.

But once I put in too much ink, everything went along smoothly. I made practice prints on newspaper first.

 

 Then I made a couple on watercolor paper.

Then I got brave and made a print on a shirt.

I had to stop after that, not because of the smudges, but because freezer paper starts to deteriorate after ten or twelve prints, and the edges of the leaves were getting a little fuzzy in places.

Conclusions:
1. I need a rack or something to support the edges of the screen when I put it down between prints. I unthinkingly put the screen down on a piece of newspaper on which I'd already set it down before and picked up some smudges, which were then transferred to the shirt. EXPLETIVES!!!!!
2. The shapes that get printed always look smaller than the shapes that were cut. I cut some little leaves to litter the forest floor, one or two of which look like more mistakes than like leaves.
3. Seriously, it is not worth all the agony of making decisions what to draw or attempting to draw terribly. I have friends who can draw. I will be calling them soon. You know who you are.
4. Even a non-graphic arts person like me can see about a million and a half possibilities for silk screen art, and they don't all involve T-shirts.

So, I'm going to spend another hour or so attempting to draw and maybe cut out another stencil.

Pay attention

Hi ho, she thought, locking the door behind her. Another day, another...something. She knew there was more to life than...something. If only she could remember what it was. But work had still to be gotten to. There was no time left for yearning.

Behind her, the flowers nodded.

Last saturday morning

So here is a bit of the writing I did before work the other day.


One hundred words in green ink
before I go to work
before they are trodden into the gray chaos
            of demands and obligations

Rain rolls off the roof
drops disintegrate against the window
yet promise green
suggest a summer less scorched
whisper moss in hidden pockets

            The trail up the mountain is now slippery
            as sand-wrapped bubbles of clay
            ooze and catch at my boots

my path ends abruptly against
great roots raking the sky
and I am looking at two hundred feet of redwood
from underneath

            For years now
            I have written in circles
            to explain that holy terror

And I understand
how hard it is to corral wonder in words
how easy it is to mistake the words for the moment 
how hard it is to see through the words 
to the light they struggle to reveal

the roots are still there
            

Coffee break

    I did the best/smartest thing ever last Saturday: I wrote BEFORE settling down to work at my paid employment. I filled about 6 pages of notebook and had a great time. I haven't set pen to paper since--it's Tuesday evening now--but it's amazing what a good frame of mind just that little outflowing has given me.
    It's the new year now. Holidays are over, and clients are eager to get back into the swing, which means that we must also. Much less time for drawing and writing and reading instructions for new techniques.
    I'm taking a little break now. We just watched episode 6 of the BBC adaptation of Susannah Clarke's Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell during dinner. The word wow does not begin to do justice to this production or to the story itself. The book is so elaborate, like layers and layers of embroidery, each layer hiding then revealing the next. The movie manages to portray the layers--the light, the shadows...the magic--in all their texture and hue.
    Quite inspiring. Though I never hope to achieve such complexity in my own writing.
    And now--back to work.

Falling slowly

Current favorite not-current song: "Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová which I first heard in the movie, Once. It’s running through my mind tonight—it just popped up for no reason from my mental record collection. So while I’m thinking about it, here is a link to the clip from the movie containing the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6slEoCqDD8. 

There are more elaborate versions of the song available, but I like this one—the scene is simple and well acted. It reminds me of a few Real Life Experiences of learning songs from and teaching songs to friends (ok, mostly boys) in music stores or on the beach or next to the lockers in high school. Coming up with harmonies on the spot. So much fun.

Worried

did you tell me you would be late tonight?
was I so preoccupied that I missed
a list of errands, maybe stops
did you say...I don't remember

I'm paying attention now
watching for lights

Shower

The cat came in, the tips of her fur wet. She leaned against my shins waiting for the beach towel to come and wick her dry. I thought: could it be raining and I didn’t even hear it? No rain was expected…

I passed through the door into the sky. Stars fell in my eyes.

Another always wanted to...check!

I've always wanted to do more to learn about making a book than just read about it or admire other people's work, and this weekend I finally did it. I made a 6" x 6" Coptic bound sketch book with heavily textured paper-covered end boards and stitching that is a little too lightweight, but seems to be doing the job.

 

 

Next time I would use a heavier cord and drill bigger holes in the end boards to accommodate the stitching. The stitching went very fast, once I figured out a stitch that would work. I looked at a few tutorials online, but somehow reality didn't match up with what I was seeing on the screen. As long as I don't try to use this as a journal on a camping trip, it should be just fine. But still, I need to figure out a sturdier stitch if I ever make another.

The best part about this kind of book is that it opens flat so you don't have to fight with it when you're trying to write. Or sketch.

The only reason I'm calling it a sketch book is because I made pages out of sketch paper. It was all I could find.

I was surprised at how easy this was. Easy to do a beginners not-all-that-exacting version, that is. I imagine that I could make this a whole lot harder. Fabric-covered end boards, better precision in poking holes in the signatures, and so on.

*(*(*(*)*)*)*

a row of trees

a curtain of rain

           at the very least--

a dream of a misty mountain side

or lapping sea

these and any stray breeze 

will open this door